Take a moment and imagine two dissimilar people to whom you’re sexually attracted.
Hold on to that image and picture the three of you fucking in every configuration. While this is just my opinion, that’s how sex should be, on an infinite loop.
This is the March review for Porn Club. “Porn Club seeks to encourage discussions about porn as an indie film genre, focusing on classic and contemporary titles available to us through our streaming network, PinkLabel.TV. Topics might include technical aspects of how a movie was made, directorial influences, perceived social or historical impact, and other aspects of interest…”
Ouroboros does a great job of infusing studio sex with the infinite loop of fantasy. The lighting was a good balance between a dimly lit bedroom and lit well enough to see what you want. The sex was a fun balance of affectionate cuddle puddle, wrestling, spanks, spit roasts, and grinds. All of the giving, all of the receiving, all of the pleasure without the focus on any singular pleasure, goal, or climax. That’s how sex should be.
This film is what would happen if three people craved each other, abstained from sex, and then they were given license to lay in a studio, imagine what they’d do to one another and then *ding* off goes the bell for the start of their fantasy. I liked this film because it seemed driven by the desire of the actor’s to enjoy and consume each other. It felt genuine. Everything in this film looks, feels, and sounds like real sex. Everything in this film lands as if driven by pure desire. I loved it and I hope that you enjoy it as well.
Watching a documentary is always an interesting trip. I’m driven to watch documentaries for the sake of furthering my education on matters somewhat foreign to me. Before I tell you about my experience watching and learning from “How to Female Ejaculate” (1993) directed by and featuring Deborah Sundahl, I want to cover some language that I’ll be using in this post. People with vaginas are not always women and women don’t always have vaginas. I’ve spent enough time with cadavers in anatomy classes to know that every human body is different. Throughout this post about vaginas and the marvel of vaginal ejaculation, I’ll be using the term women with the aforementioned understanding in consideration. For the CisHet men reading this, please note that I won’t be explaining any “hOw To MaKe hEr sQuIrT!” sort of business. This isn’t about you learning some tricks for the bedroom. This is about self-exploration for women who wish to feel what the presenters in this doc felt. (Dudes, I encourage you to read “Whose Orgasm Is It Anyway?”) Alright, still with me and ready to read on? Great!
From the jump, the early ‘90s aesthetic made my heart sing tunes of nostalgia. The hair and clothes were enough to dive all the way into this doc. Even if you weren’t a ‘90s kid, I think everyone should watch this doc. Human bodies are wonderful and there hasn’t been remotely enough research on women’s sexual pleasure response (more on that lack of research later). For all the CisHet men out there who fancy themselves to be “good at sex” take more time to listen, learn, and study instead of back patting yourself. Watch HTFE for the sake of education, not to “learn some tricks”.
I loved the educational components from this documentary. In the event that you’ve ever believed squirting or the g-spot to be a myth, please watch HTFE. Here are some great takeaways from the video to keep in mind the next time you find yourself with a squirter.
1. Female ejaculate is not urine! I’ve heard a heartbreaking story from a friend who ejaculated all over her lover’s bed and he ghosted after accusing her of peeing during sex. Wow! If only he had watched HTFE and learned some things!
2. The urethral sponge is a much better name for the pleasure receptor than the “G-spot”, IMO. Science has been moving away from the habit of naming areas of the body after the person credited with their discovery. Ernst Gräfenberg was credited with discovering the g-spot, hence the name.
Fun Fact: A quick Googling will show present day arguments as to whether there even is a g-spot and to that all I can rhetorically ask is what the fuck!
Watch HTFE and learn why the urethral sponge is not only a more physiologically accurate term, the naming convention also tells you where to find it. That is assuming that you know where to find a woman’s urethra and of course you know that no one pees out of their vagina (another myth perpetuated by the miseducated).
3. Please note that squirting doesn’t have to be a goal (however, hearing what it means to this group of women could inspire others). Everyone’s pleasure response is different and that’s perfectly fine.
4. The video discusses some techniques for Kegeling. You should watch it for that alone. Imagine being able to work a muscle that helps to give you stronger orgasms! Yes, please! Exercise those PC (pubococcygeus) muscles. You can have stronger orgasms (if that’s something you want).
Fun Fact: Anyone with a pelvic floor can Kegel! (I’ve met some people who were surprised that men can Kegel.)
5. Something I loved about the demo portion (this is a Porn Club review after all) was the reminder that different people call for different methods and yield unique pleasure responses. To phrase it another way, if you have “go to” methods when assisting someone with their pleasure, keep in mind that all bodies are not the same.
Carol Queen, who I had the pleasure of working with (not in that way) last year on a panel at ConvergeCon, had some great points about women ejaculating. She spoke about the sense of empowerment that came from the self-discovery of female ejaculation. Sex education for teens is often inaccurate or non-existent. Sex education as it relates to a woman’s pleasure is even scarcer. When the conversation shifted to safety, because we are talking about a bodily fluid, Carol pointed out the insufficient AIDS research as it related to women’s pleasure response.
I encourage you to watch HTFE, not because you want to learn some tricks, instead because you want to celebrate in the self-discovery of the women featured in the film. Afterwards, you may find out something about your own pleasure response. Even if you don’t, it’s still both educational and an erotic joy to watch.
I’m constantly reminding myself how important it is to shift my brain and see with the eyes of the audience from an era. I can’t watch porn from 1973 with 2019 eyes. I can’t consider modern heteronormative #ConsentCulture when I’m diving into a period piece from the gay culture of 1970s San Francisco. I’d never heard of Peter Berlin before diving into Nights In Black Leather. By the end of the film, I understood his appeal. However, it took me a while to get there.
Director Ignatio Rutkowski’s approach to filmmaking took me on a trip that was at times hard to hear or see what was happening. I have a different level of expectations for the cinematography of films from the ’70s. It was the director’s choice to film sex scenes through tent screens or to feature conversation scenes from across the street (making the dialogue practically inaudible) that left me frustrated. I really wanted to get into the story of this German tourist (Peter Berlin) from the start, but there was a lot of noise in the first sex scene.
The phone sex scene, more importantly learning what gets Peter off, sets the tone for the film. From the vantage point of an awkward (knee height) camera angle, Peter walks into his apartment, puts on a record, turns on the TV, and then takes a phone call. That’s a lot of noise for my ears to sift through, but sussing out the dialogue with the person on the other end of the call was worth it.
I’ve never been a part of the cruising culture that seemed natural in the film’s 1973 San Francisco setting. It’s because I’m not familiar with that culture that Peter initially struck me as too aggressive and borderline threatening. (That’s what I mean when I say it took me a while to get there.) It wasn’t until the third scene (which I won’t spoil for you, watch for yourselves at this link) that I began to see that he was maybe just a Daddy. “This is fucking hot!”, I said out loud to the screen as I watched things heat up between Peter and his newly anointed sub (have you watched it yet?).
The takeaway from watching NIBL is to pick up on those signs sent by the universe that highlight our desires. In Peter’s case, it came in the form of an unexpected phone call that ascended into mutual masturbation with his caller. That call set him on a path to seek more of what aroused him. Peter’s arousal tourism happened in chance meetings on the street, in a restroom, and at a party.
If you’re a cisgender heterosexual man, what are some ways that you can learn more about what you desire? I’m not talking about pursuing desires, just understanding what you desire and the arousal of others (even if you’re not attracted to them). I encourage everyone to watch porn. If you have an image of porn that repulses you, I encourage you to watch better porn, I encourage you to #PayForYourPorn
While NIBL isn’t my favorite film, I do love the story. I love the raw erotic energy that stems from getting to the root of our desires. I love the hedonistic approach to Peter’s arousal tourism. I love being able to see what the magic of 1970s San Francisco must have felt like. I’ve already asked my lover if she wants to watch this with me on our next date. This might be a good date night movie for you as well! Leave a comment below after you watch it. Enjoy!
One of the things I enjoy about watching flicks from another era is the opportunity to put myself in the mindset of the, in this case, 1969 audience. I recently watched Camille 2000 directed by Radley Metzger. Going in, I was expecting to watch (my idea of) “vintage” porn. I was pleasantly surprised by this NC-17 Romantic Drama set in Rome.
Quick side note: Did you know that there’s one specific sex act that will bump a movie up from R rated to NC-17? It’s cunilingus! Yep, a woman receiving oral pleasure (that expression always makes me giggle) is what tips the scale. Patriarchy much?
Here I want to add a CW for some of the behavior of the men in this flick. Prep yourself, as a 1969 moviegoer, for consent violations in the form of what they consider to be playful flirting. Holy shit, the way they were picking up, at times literally, on women was troublesome. I’ll add another CW for language they used in the flick. I won’t repeat it here, but I let out an audible “WTF” when Marguerite called her designer a specific homosexual slur. I just wasn’t ready for that and I began to worry if I’d like the flick. I began looking deeper than dialogue and fell all the way in to their efforts of “modern” furniture that appeared to live on the line between fashion forward and ridiculous. I fell in to the funky soundtrack that was surprisingly uncheesy. Like, there was brown chicken, but no brown cow to the music. (*sing it with me* Brown chicken brown cow!) I loved the fashion and set design, although I’ll admit that I hated the poor little rich brats characters. It wasn’t a perfect movie.
The director chose some interesting perspectives for the sex scenes. They were the good kind of interesting, not the chin scratching kind of interesting. My absolute favorite shot in the whole flick was what I’ll call the cunilingus flower scene. You’ll know it when you see it. By the time I reached that point in the flick, I’d learned how the sex scenes evolved from the characters making eyes to undressing to their orgasms. But, I also learned what was considered risque or what was considered “blue” to the audiences of 1969. I say that to encourage you to watch this flick with a clean slate. Don’t go in expecting to see the details we see in 2019 scenes when the focus is fucking. Instead, go in for the love story and allow your heart and body to be turned on as the tension unfolds. I’d definitely watch this again.