Score (1974) Adult Film Review

As someone who was introduced to porn in the 80’s on VHS tapes, I always consider it both pleasure and privilege to watch vintage porn as an adult. One of the picks for the July Porn Club was Score (1974) directed by Radley Metzger (Camille 2000). I chose this film because of its Bisexual theme.

“Something for everybody” -Playgirl

When watching anything from decades ago, I try to think like a movie goer from that era. That is to say, that I don’t compare what I’m watching to anything that came after it. There were a lot of scenes that were certainly ahead of the times for the 70’s. One such example is the strap on scene that left me feeling like I was on the same druggy head trip.

Content Warning: Consent Violation

There was so much I liked about this film, until its climax. Before I write more, I want to talk about drugs and sex. If you’ve watched Camille 2000 then you know that Metzger has a thing for drug-fueled orgies. I’ve been involved in my share of druggy orgies. I’ve had sex while drunk, I’ve had sex while high (cannabis), and I’ve had sex on acid. In each of those cases, I was low enough to negotiate consent even though I was high enough to avoid operating heavy machinery. There’s a difference between having sex on drugs and being dosed with drugs as a surprise, gotcha moment just so that someone can have their way. Consent is binary, meaning you either have it or you don’t and it can be revoked at any time. If you’re intoxicated, you can’t give or revoke consent.

Wait a minute, this is just a film and porn is about fantasy, right? Yes, porn is fantasy and not meant to be a guidebook for real life. Rule 34 is a thing and I get that. Just because I may not be into step-sibling sex, gaping anal, or petite 18 y/o themes, doesn’t mean they don’t have an audience. However, I can’t get behind consent violations as a device for fantasy. What did I dislike about the climax? The lead characters dosed their would be lovers with Amyl Nitrite in order to proceed with sex! I don’t usually drop spoilers in a review, but that’s a content warning if you decide to watch Score.  

Here’s what I loved about Score. I loved how it felt like a sex-filled RomCom from the 70’s. It could have easily been R-rated (maybe NC-17) by today’s standards. I loved the way Metzger built tension with his camera work and use of music. The music and story had me tuned in tight like I was watching a thriller! It was not your typical brown chicken, brown cow music and I truly loved that. I loved how Betsy began to open up and explore her sexual curiosity through the camera lens. The foreshadowing conclusion of the Polaroid scene was easily one of my top three from the film.

Would I recommend that you watch it, yes with the aforementioned content warning. You’re all, presumably, adults and aware enough to know that porn is fantasy and you shouldn’t try most of what you see at home (unless you’ve been educated on risks and tested). But, dosing your potential lover so that they’ll go from bicurious to bisexual is not okay! Don’t dose people! Overall, I enjoyed the film. It’s just hard for me to look beyond that one scene.

“Ritual Waves” (Adult Film Review)

This is a review for Porn Club, you know like a book club… for porn. You can watch Ritual Waves here.

Ritual Waves is an experience that felt better once I was ready to receive it. That is to say, my brain broke (in a good way) on the first viewing and on the second viewing, I got it. As some of you may know, and have been celebrating, May is masturbation month. Masturbation May hasn’t felt special due to shelter in place orders and all that (pandemic) jazz. Did I need a designated month to masturbate after I’d already been in the house for weeks? Not really, but stay with me here. There are lots of ways to masturbate. To name just two, there is the quick and dirty when you just want to release before that Zoom meeting. Then there’s the experience of self-love where you take your time. Ritual Waves is the latter, holy hell is it the latter! Don’t let the length of this 5 minute film fool you, Ritual Waves goes literally and figuratively deep.

Ritual Waves is the type of film that encourages you to experience yourself, all of yourself. The anticipation of pleasure can lead one to hold their mouth agape, saliva escaping with reckless abandon. Those moments when you stop caring about where it all goes, the spit, cum, all of it. Those moments, feelings are celebrated (not depicted) in Ritual Waves. Ritual Waves takes the viewer to that headspace in the first 60 seconds! As the film continues, Lina Bembe’s hands play the role of their lover, exploring and appreciating their body. Watching their fingertips search, press, and pleasure until a golden gratitude is shown upon Lina’s face. If you look closely, you can catch a fleeting glimpse of a clenched jaw fueled by the tension from below.

Ritual Waves then takes a welcome deep dive as Lina goes underwater for a rebirth. Here you can feel the energy and music of the film shift. I want to take a moment and give a shoutout to Manuela Schinina’s music choices throughout the film. I found the music to be fluid, ethereal, and enchanting. I could not imagine any other music accompanying these waves.

I hope you take a moment to watch this film. If you do, here’s some food for thought before you press play. What does it mean to be consumed by something? To be consumed by darkness is to suggest that once we return to light there’s a residue left on our vision. To be consumed by wetness is to suggest that our skin still drinks even after the environment changes. This experience is not unlike taking a shower on a hot day in Oakland. The sweat appears just as fast as we dry off, our skin still drinks. Ritual Waves took me on a journey of what it’s like to see the feeling of that drinking, thirsty skin.

There’s a peace that comes with full immersion, a peace that whispers this is where I live. It’s the same peace we experience when we’re under water and open our eyes. It’s the same peace we experience when we’re not yet close but in a state of flow with masturbation. This peace and pleasure are where I live, in the throes of my own passion. Dive into RW and live there, deeper than you normally go with yourself.

“Camera and I” Adult Film Review

I’ve been modeling since I was 12 and my brain can be hyper literal. So, every time I heard someone suggest I “make love to the camera” my brain always went to a silly place. Shine Louise Houston may have a similar sense of humor. Camera and I is worth a watch. (It’s 14 minutes long, you have the time to watch it right meow. I’ll wait.)

Are you back? Good! There’s not much I can say without spoilers. I try to watch films without reading much or watching previews ahead of time. I want to go in with a clean slate and nothing to potentially sway my opinion. I’m glad that I went into Camera and I with that clean slate. I was audibly laughing in the first few minutes. I didn’t expect it to be that funny. My favorite line was “you seem stable”. Kudos to Jasko Fide for not only executing a hot scene, but for bringing the viewer directly into their experience of pleasure. The best thing about watching porn is when the actors are not acting, but enjoying themselves. Here are some more films featuring Jasko Fide. Another moment of joy was when we saw the bliss “Sony” experienced when they bathed Jasko in what I can only describe as celestial lighting. This film went from funny, to sexy, to romantic with a post-coital scene unlike any other.

Sometimes you watch a film and you hope that no one ever tries to remake it or change it in any way because it was perfect in its execution. Camera and I is one of those works. (I’d totally watch a sequel to see what “Panasonic” could bring to a scene, just sayin’.) Camera and I is great just the way it is and I hope it gets all the recognition it deserves. Happy Birthday, Shine! Well done!

“How to Female Ejaculate” (1993) Adult Film Review

Watching a documentary is always an interesting trip. I’m driven to watch documentaries for the sake of furthering my education on matters somewhat foreign to me. Before I tell you about my experience watching and learning from “How to Female Ejaculate” (1993) directed by and featuring Deborah Sundahl, I want to cover some language that I’ll be using in this post. People with vaginas are not always women and women don’t always have vaginas. I’ve spent enough time with cadavers in anatomy classes to know that every human body is different. Throughout this post about vaginas and the marvel of vaginal ejaculation, I’ll be using the term women with the aforementioned understanding in consideration. For the CisHet men reading this, please note that I won’t be explaining any “hOw To MaKe hEr sQuIrT!” sort of business. This isn’t about you learning some tricks for the bedroom. This is about self-exploration for women who wish to feel what the presenters in this doc felt. (Dudes, I encourage you to read “Whose Orgasm Is It Anyway?”) Alright, still with me and ready to read on? Great!

From the jump, the early ‘90s aesthetic made my heart sing tunes of nostalgia. The hair and clothes were enough to dive all the way into this doc. Even if you weren’t a ‘90s kid, I think everyone should watch this doc. Human bodies are wonderful and there hasn’t been remotely enough research on women’s sexual pleasure response (more on that lack of research later). For all the CisHet men out there who fancy themselves to be “good at sex” take more time to listen, learn, and study instead of back patting yourself. Watch HTFE for the sake of education, not to “learn some tricks”.

I loved the educational components from this documentary. In the event that you’ve ever believed squirting or the g-spot to be a myth, please watch HTFE. Here are some great takeaways from the video to keep in mind the next time you find yourself with a squirter.

1. Female ejaculate is not urine! I’ve heard a heartbreaking story from a friend who ejaculated all over her lover’s bed and he ghosted after accusing her of peeing during sex. Wow! If only he had watched HTFE and learned some things!

2. The urethral sponge is a much better name for the pleasure receptor than the “G-spot”, IMO. Science has been moving away from the habit of naming areas of the body after the person credited with their discovery. Ernst Gräfenberg was credited with discovering the g-spot, hence the name.

Fun Fact: A quick Googling will show present day arguments as to whether there even is a g-spot and to that all I can rhetorically ask is what the fuck!

Watch HTFE and learn why the urethral sponge is not only a more physiologically accurate term, the naming convention also tells you where to find it. That is assuming that you know where to find a woman’s urethra and of course you know that no one pees out of their vagina (another myth perpetuated by the miseducated).

3. Please note that squirting doesn’t have to be a goal (however, hearing what it means to this group of women could inspire others). Everyone’s pleasure response is different and that’s perfectly fine.

4. The video discusses some techniques for Kegeling. You should watch it for that alone. Imagine being able to work a muscle that helps to give you stronger orgasms! Yes, please! Exercise those PC (pubococcygeus) muscles. You can have stronger orgasms (if that’s something you want).

Fun Fact: Anyone with a pelvic floor can Kegel! (I’ve met some people who were surprised that men can Kegel.)

5. Something I loved about the demo portion (this is a Porn Club review after all) was the reminder that different people call for different methods and yield unique pleasure responses. To phrase it another way, if you have “go to” methods when assisting someone with their pleasure, keep in mind that all bodies are not the same.


Carol Queen, who I had the pleasure of working with (not in that way) last year on a panel at ConvergeCon, had some great points about women ejaculating. She spoke about the sense of empowerment that came from the self-discovery of female ejaculation. Sex education for teens is often inaccurate or non-existent. Sex education as it relates to a woman’s pleasure is even scarcer. When the conversation shifted to safety, because we are talking about a bodily fluid, Carol pointed out the insufficient AIDS research as it related to women’s pleasure response.

I encourage you to watch HTFE, not because you want to learn some tricks, instead because you want to celebrate in the self-discovery of the women featured in the film. Afterwards, you may find out something about your own pleasure response. Even if you don’t, it’s still both educational and an erotic joy to watch.

“Nights In Black Leather” Adult Film Review

Watch better porn. Pay for your porn.
1973

I’m constantly reminding myself how important it is to shift my brain and see with the eyes of the audience from an era. I can’t watch porn from 1973 with 2019 eyes. I can’t consider modern heteronormative #ConsentCulture when I’m diving into a period piece from the gay culture of 1970s San Francisco. I’d never heard of Peter Berlin before diving into Nights In Black Leather. By the end of the film, I understood his appeal. However, it took me a while to get there.

Director Ignatio Rutkowski’s approach to filmmaking took me on a trip that was at times hard to hear or see what was happening. I have a different level of expectations for the cinematography of films from the ’70s. It was the director’s choice to film sex scenes through tent screens or to feature conversation scenes from across the street (making the dialogue practically inaudible) that left me frustrated. I really wanted to get into the story of this German tourist (Peter Berlin) from the start, but there was a lot of noise in the first sex scene.

The phone sex scene, more importantly learning what gets Peter off, sets the tone for the film. From the vantage point of an awkward (knee height) camera angle, Peter walks into his apartment, puts on a record, turns on the TV, and then takes a phone call. That’s a lot of noise for my ears to sift through, but sussing out the dialogue with the person on the other end of the call was worth it.

I’ve never been a part of the cruising culture that seemed natural in the film’s 1973 San Francisco setting. It’s because I’m not familiar with that culture that Peter initially struck me as too aggressive and borderline threatening. (That’s what I mean when I say it took me a while to get there.) It wasn’t until the third scene (which I won’t spoil for you, watch for yourselves at this link) that I began to see that he was maybe just a Daddy. “This is fucking hot!”, I said out loud to the screen as I watched things heat up between Peter and his newly anointed sub (have you watched it yet?).

The takeaway from watching NIBL is to pick up on those signs sent by the universe that highlight our desires. In Peter’s case, it came in the form of an unexpected phone call that ascended into mutual masturbation with his caller. That call set him on a path to seek more of what aroused him. Peter’s arousal tourism happened in chance meetings on the street, in a restroom, and at a party.

Try to understand arousal from the perspective of others.

If you’re a cisgender heterosexual man, what are some ways that you can learn more about what you desire? I’m not talking about pursuing desires, just understanding what you desire and the arousal of others (even if you’re not attracted to them). I encourage everyone to watch porn. If you have an image of porn that repulses you, I encourage you to watch better porn, I encourage you to #PayForYourPorn

While NIBL isn’t my favorite film, I do love the story. I love the raw erotic energy that stems from getting to the root of our desires. I love the hedonistic approach to Peter’s arousal tourism. I love being able to see what the magic of 1970s San Francisco must have felt like. I’ve already asked my lover if she wants to watch this with me on our next date. This might be a good date night movie for you as well! Leave a comment below after you watch it. Enjoy!

Suburban Dykes: A Film Review for Porn Club

I just had the absolute pleasure of watching Suburban Dykes (1990) starring Nina Hartley, Pepper, and Sharon Mitchell. It was a pleasure because it took me back to my teen years when I watched porn on VHS (yes, I’m #GenerationX). Assume that the rest of this writing has the intonation of *insert 40-something accent* “Back in MY day…” Well, let me tell you about the magic of 80s/90s porn. I grew up in Detroit and had a long distance love for California. It seemed like a magical place and all of the porn I watched felt like field trips to the golden state. Porn from that era often felt (feels) like a group of friends, who thoroughly enjoy fucking each other, got together at a house in California and once the camera crew was set up, they did just that. I have a special place in my heart for 80s/90s porn. If you want to witness some of this magic, watch Suburban Dykes by Fatale Media.

Some of the things that may come to mind when you imagine watching porn from that era is (brown chicken, brown cow) music during the sexual play. Something that sets SD apart is that the only time music is presented is to transition the scene, sort of like an energy shift. Once the screen begins to heat up, the music leaves us alone to enjoy the sounds of the actors. Make no mistake, those sounds don’t feel like acting and they become a soundtrack of their own. This choice by Fatale Media makes the viewer feel like a fly on the wall. It was SO MUCH hotter to watch this bathed only in orgasmic sounds from these women.

The narrative was crafted in such a way that helped the viewer care about every scene. In an attempt to avoid “Lesbian bed death syndrome”, Nina and Pepper reach out to the Butch of their phone sex dreams. This is where the story gets hottest. If you want to learn why Nina Hartley is a fucking legend, just watch her on screen. Nina Hartley’s on-screen charisma is unparalleled and I’ve been watching her since my teens. Something I found brilliant about Sharon Mitchell’s role in SD was how their* character was inviting instead of invasive. I encourage you to watch (and re-watch) the scene when they first arrive. They were not aggressive, they were assertive and I found it easy to understand their appeal. Everything about Sharon made me say yes.

SD had some components that we don’t always see in porn today, but was important commentary for 1990. There was a rapid-fire safer sex proclamation (not really a conversation) about bodily fluid exchange and AIDS awareness. A clear statement of boundaries around sexual health didn’t slow down the pacing of SD nor did it “break the mood”. (People who are reluctant to have these conversations should take note.)

Watching and reviewing this for Porn Club has been a joy. I would re-watch Suburban Dykes. I’d even order the DVD and invite friends over to watch it. I hope everyone gets a chance to watch porn where the cast looks like they enjoy fucking each other. Porn gives us fuel for our fantasies, it’s entertainment. But, SD was socially conscious fantasy fuel that focused on the pleasures of a loving couple. If there were an epilogue, I’d bet that Nina and Pepper never experienced Lesbian bed death syndrome.

*-I don’t know Sharon’s pronouns, so I’ve decided to use they lest I misgender them.